"When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I heldher hand and said, I've got something to tell you. Shesat down andate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had
to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I
raised the topic
calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words,
instead she
asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away
the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other.. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to
our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my
heart to a
lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I
just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement
which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my
company and
the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a
stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could
not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of
release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks
seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her
writing something at the table. I didn't have supper
but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after
an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table
writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she
didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's
notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both
struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our
son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt
him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she
asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal
room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the
month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever
morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her
odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed
loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she
applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife
and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His
words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the
sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She
closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the
bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She
leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully
for a long time.
I realized she was not young any more. There were fine
wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll
on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten
years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that
our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about
this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on
quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then
she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that
she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her
more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son
came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry
mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had
become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come
closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might
change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body
tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day,
when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our
son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't
noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of
the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay
would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door
and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do
you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our
lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that
since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her
until
death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and
then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and
drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.. I smiled
and wrote: 'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us
apart'..."
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property,
the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive
for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
- Unknown
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or
when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here
and now..
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had
to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I
raised the topic
calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words,
instead she
asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away
the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other.. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to
our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my
heart to a
lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I
just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement
which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my
company and
the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a
stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could
not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of
release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks
seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her
writing something at the table. I didn't have supper
but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after
an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table
writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she
didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's
notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both
struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our
son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt
him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she
asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal
room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the
month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever
morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her
odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed
loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she
applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife
and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention
was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His
words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the
sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She
closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the
bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She
leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully
for a long time.
I realized she was not young any more. There were fine
wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll
on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten
years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that
our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about
this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on
quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then
she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that
she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her
more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son
came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry
mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had
become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come
closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might
change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body
tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day,
when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our
son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't
noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of
the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay
would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door
and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do
you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our
lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that
since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her
until
death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and
then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and
drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.. I smiled
and wrote: 'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us
apart'..."
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property,
the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive
for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
- Unknown
You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or
when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here
and now..
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